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Pumpkin Puppy

29 October 2009

He's actually going to be a dragon for this year's Halloween - I bought this costume on sale today and am saving it for next year. Still, so cute!!

Not a fun week

28 October 2009
This week I've been struggling with pain medication withdrawal, a weird cold that's lasted two weeks, exhaustion that won't go away, and a tantrum-y, molar-cutting Sparrow. And since I went off the pain medication, the constant soreness and cramping is back.

I'm not performing at my best and thus there are many moments that have happened recently that I'm not proud of. Yelling, crying, throwing things... sadly, I've behaved more like a 2 year old than Sparrow.

Mommy guilt is no fun. So many sources say to let go of the guilt, I'm doing the best I can, but what to do when I don't feel like I'm doing the best I can? I know that I could be doing much more than lying on the couch while Sparrow watches Berenstain Bears and Signing Time.

I'll console myself with knowing that my cold seems to be clearing up, I was able to get a new prescription so the withdrawal isn't going to be as bad, when I'm dead I will rest, and Sparrow's tooth can't taunt me forever. Tomorrow is Music Together, something Sparrow and I are both excited and grateful for. Hawk will be attending this week's class, and Sparrow will be dressed up in his Halloween costume for the class!

Let's Analyze

26 October 2009
After taking a break for a bit, I've been trying to build up a year's worth of food storage. Last year with all the economic doom and gloom I got a little carried away buying stuff, but I've been sticking with a "system" that is working really well: only buying $20 worth of food storage a week. But I am having kind of a rough time keeping track of everything I have.

Which is where the Emergency Essentials Food Storage Analyzer comes in. I admit, it was kind of a pain in the butt having to guesstimate on some of the amounts in cans I get, because I have a lot of things that aren't Emergency Essentials brand. But overall, I LOVED this tool. I have entered all my storage items in here and it's saved! Forever! Which means I never have to re-inventory if I just add as I buy/rotate!! IT'S LIKE A MIRACLE!

We're actually doing better than I thought. We have almost 3 months worth of food stored, which is great! Now I just have to keep plugging away with my $20/week plan. I really do love Emergency Essentials and their products. I find their freeze dried food to be awesome and really well priced. Last year I bought cans of freeze dried chopped onions, carrots, and celery and it was a lifesaver when I needed to make a quick dinner! Throw it in a pot of chicken stock with a can of chicken and heat up and it was FABULOUS, with hardly any work.

Which is awesome, because I am nothing if not lazy.

So try the Food Storage Analyzer, because it really does make keeping an "inventory" easier.

Gift Card Giveaway

Not a good day

25 October 2009
I can absolutely understand why some people lock their kids in basements or rooms or walls for years and years and years. If I had a suitable place, Sparrow would be in solitary confinement for the next 10 years.

Trip Tuesday

20 October 2009
Sparrow and I met Nana (my mom) for lunch at Thanksgiving Point. Then we went to play in their petting zoo!

The Clydesdale horses thought Sparrow's shoes were delicious. Luckily Nana saved them from becoming Pony Lunch.

We went on a wagon ride. Sparrow thought the horses were so cool!

These horses didn't bite.

Sizing up Thanksgiving dinner...

"What are YOU?"

Nana and Sparrow went on a pony ride.

There he goes!

This is what he looked like the entire car ride home. He was SO tired!

I love this stinkin' cute kid!

My Faith Monday

19 October 2009
Keri at The Home Teacher came up with this brilliant idea. My Faith Monday is a day where we teach our wee beasties about religious things.

We belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Today I decided to teach Sparrow about temples. We talked about how temples are Heavenly Father's house, and how we have to be clean and pure to go inside. We talked about someday being sealed together as a family. Then we went to visit the Draper Utah temple.

But I forgot temples are closed on Mondays.

Oh well, it was a good trip and we listened to church music on the way there so it wasn't a total bust.

Animal sounds

18 October 2009

He's so cute and quiet and meek in this video because he was exhausted from our big day at the petting farm.

Ode to Hawk

I woke up on Friday morning with a bit of a cold. Sore throat, stuffy nose, extreme tiredness, general cold stuff. But Sparrow and I had plans for the day, so we went up to Ogden to visit my grandma and we played with her.

Sparrow was pretty awful, probably tired from everything else we did this week, and we had to leave the restaurant we were lunching in because he was so bad. Then he had a major flying meltdown in Jo-Ann's while I was waiting in line to get my fabric cut (my grandma had Sparrow at that point and had to take him outside.) Everyone in line was talking about the poor kid who'd gotten hurt. Yeah right. That's my kid, he's just annoying.

Anyway, we got home around 6 and I was DONE. Hawk recognized my done-ness and took over, playing with Sparrow for 2 hours before it was his bedtime, putting him to bed for me, and then! Then! Hawk went out and bought us a new TV-on-DVD set (we've been watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it's pretty good) and dinner. We feasted on Cafe Rio while enjoying Joss Whedon's awesomeness.

Yesterday I woke up early and tried to let Hawk sleep in as late as possible, which is difficult when your offspring is loud and cranky. Hawk got up around 10 and that's when I was DONE again. I went upstairs and slept. And slept. And slept.

Hawk is the best daddy and husband ever. Seriously. I slept from 10:30 - 3:30 and again from 5 - 8. And again from 10:30 - 6:30.

Hawk cleaned the house and took care of the kid. I love that dude.

And now I think my cold is 90% better, plus I have caught up on missing sleep for the last year. Woo-hoo!

Beautiful and terrifying

14 October 2009
I am trying to implement a week day schedule for Sparrow and me. For example, Monday is grocery day, Wednesday is library day, Thursday is music class day, Friday is cleaning up day. Tuesday is Trip day. Last Tuesday we took a trip to Sundance for a hike. I heard Stewart Falls is a good hike for a toddler, and decided that we should go.

BAD IDEA. I would love to go next year, but much earlier in the season. The path was very wet and snowy and muddy even though it was sunny. Sparrow was determined to run down the path as fast as he could, and with certain death to one side and his propensity to trip... well, we cut the hike short. As in, we made it about 200 yards and quit. There's always next year.

The scariest part was the ski lift. Sparrow did well on the way up, but he did not want to sit still on the way down. It was easily one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. Also, the boy screams so loud it's a good thing it's not avalanche season. Yikes. Still, I think we both had a relatively good time, and it was neat to see Sundance before it's covered in snow. I usually ski there at least once a year and it was fun to recognize hills that scare the crap out of me when I'm flying down them on two planks of plastic.

Here are a few pictures I snapped while Sparrow was not trying to jump/fall to his death.

Mommy and baby on the ski lift!

Sparrow wasn't quite sure what to think of the snow...

Like I said, cold, wet and scary!

But it was absolutely beautiful. Next year I hope we make it before all the leaves fall off the trees though


My soul aches for the mommies who are missing their babies. At least I have my wonderful baby boy. At least I have him to hold, to snuggle, to kiss, to chase, to laugh with, to wonder at. He is healthy, he is beautiful, and he is mine. The birth was not ideal, we were separated for so long, and of course I made mistakes and have regrets, but I still have my son. Thank God for that.

Sparrow and his Papa (my dad)

I'm famous!

09 October 2009
I was on TV today!! Sparrow and I went to the Baby Expo in Sandy, Utah. There was a TON of neat stuff and I only wish I had $10K to spend on all of it. And a newborn to dote on, of course, as I really didn't find too much for two year olds.

Anyway, as we were strolling along, Sparrow slurping on a sucker he got for being so cute, Brian Mullahy from KUTV Channel 2 News introduced himself and asked if he could ask me a question. He asked what I thought of Obama receiving the Nobel Peace prize.

I'm not exactly thrilled about it - I mean, yay for Obama and all, but he hasn't really done anything to earn the honor yet. They filmed me talking about it and filmed a shot of Sparrow (but since he was slurping all over his sucker, he wasn't as cute as normal) and that was that.

I went to my parent's house to watch the news to see if I was on (we don't have TV) and 10 seconds of my interview made it on the news!! I'm so cool!

I'm the one interviewed after the guy, the third person on there before the Catholic priest. Bummer they didn't mention my name, oh wells.

Famous Kestrel!


08 October 2009
Sometimes my awesomeness is simply SHOCKING.

I read four books tonight: Boot Camp, How I Live Now, Kit's Wilderness,andMilkweed. The longest was about 350 pages, the shortest was about 200. Yes, from 8 pm to 2 am I did barely anything else, but it was WORTH IT.

(And by barely anything else I mean I also did the laundry (3 loads), the dishes, and made soup for dinner tomorrow.)

I am so cool.

The books that I've read are on my Goodreads page which is linked on the right side of this blog. I review almost everything I read nowadays, but books I read a while ago often don't have a review. Also I did not review Milkweed because I didn't feel like it.

Mi corazón canta.

04 October 2009
In 2004 I had the opportunity to visit Guatemala on a two week medical mission. I was 17, fresh out of high school, and eager to take on the world and leave my mark on it.

I love the Guatemalan people. They are a beautiful people with a rich heritage, and it's one of the highlights of my life that I was able to go and spend some time in their incredible country. I mostly interacted with children who didn't care that I could barely speak Spanish, they just wanted attention from the very white American who brought them toothbrushes. Guatemalan children have got to be the cutest children on the planet.

In another life, I would have returned to Guatemala after finishing college. I would have volunteered with Camino Seguro, an incredible program dedicated to helping Guatemalan children who literally live in the city dump receive an education, which enables them to help their families leave the dump. Someday I hope to donate bazillions of dollars to Camino Seguro, but that day is not today.

There are two things that I have recently been passionate about getting more involved with. The first is the Spanish language. I love Spanish. It is a beautiful language and I would love to be near fluent someday. My dad is from Mexico and it would be neat to be able to speak with him in his native tongue. I also want Sparrow to grow up being as bilingual as possible. I can't think of any negatives about being bilingual and I wish my parents had taught me Spanish as a child because it would have been nice to be fluent at a young age.

The second thing I have on my heart and mind lately is volunteerism. I miss serving people. I miss feeling like I am actively helping out in my community. I have been thinking of ways to get more involved in service, but with a 20 month old it's a little complicated! Someday I hope to take my family on a volunteering trip to South America or to Africa, but obviously that's several years away. What can I do in the meantime? I currently have plans to knit baby hats and sweaters to donate, but I'd like to do more. Ideally I'd like to be able to do something that involves Sparrow, Spanish, Guatemala and medicine!

So who has suggestions for me? How can I better my Spanish (for free-ish!) and volunteer and teach my 20 month old about service and go back to visit Guatemala next week? Who wants to volunteer to fly me out there? Anyone? ¿Alguien?

I've been replaced.

03 October 2009
Sparrow's new favorite person is his Music Together teacher. He did not leave her side the entire class yesterday. He danced the flamenco with her. He flirted mercilessly. He cried when she stopped singing. He begged her to hold him.

He left me sitting all by my lonesome in the corner, babyless.

I incubate this little ingrate for 7 months, barfing the entire time, only to have him ripped cruelly from my belly after he nearly kills me. Then I find out that he caused* a hole to form in my heart so I can't have any more kids. THEN he decides to abandon me and go love on his teacher, who he has known for all of 30 seconds, and scream when she tries to direct him back to me. His mother.

I am so hurt Sparrow. So, so hurt.

*He didn't cause it, the pregnancy did. But it's more fun to say that it's all his fault.