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14 April 2010
Hopefully everyone who reads this blog has had tight times at one point in their life... otherwise, stop reading now, or you won't be able to empathize with my whining!

Last Thursday we ran out of money. It would have been okay, except that we overdrafted the account by $4 so now we have an overdraft fee. Rats! I had just gone grocery shopping, so we had plenty of food, and we didn't have anywhere to go so gas wasn't a problem.

But it's been hard. Psychologically, knowing that you have less than no money is killer. I mean, I've done this before (back when I was in college, I sucked at doing money things, so I was almost always in the red.) But it's been 3 years since I was living like that, and I kinda forgot how mentally draining it is. Just knowing that we can't even go to McDonald's and order off the dollar menu was killing me.

Sparrow and I stayed home this week because I didn't even want to leave the house, knowing that we couldn't really do anything. It was cold up till yesterday, and our gas was pretty low so I didn't want to drive anywhere. So we're bored, stir crazy, and hungry! I did get to make some pretty delicious and healthy meals, but sometimes I just want some freaking French fries!

Yeah, I'm not afraid to say it. I'm Kestrel and I'm addicted to fries.

I have a wonderful friend, Owly, who took pity on Hawk and me last night and ordered us a pizza. Then this morning I found $8 in various places around my house and car! I have never felt so rich. Sparrow and I split a chicken nugget kid's meal from Wendy's and we are both thrilled to death. It was the best thing I have ever tasted. Tomorrow we get paid, and I am so relieved. It will be nice to be able to drive again.

Hopefully after this month we won't have to be so careful, but yikes! I know I am for sure going to be more careful with what I spend my play money on, and hopefully we can build a buffer up pretty quickly. I have definitely learned that I can survive without going somewhere every day, and we're just fine if we don't go to the grocery store 3 times a week. And now that it's warmer, we should be able to go do free things, like play at the park or at least go for walks. Phew! Really though, I'm just glad this week is over.

Yes, I know there are starving people in Africa who live without French fries their whole lives. I know there are people who have never even seen a car, let alone be able to drive one. Yes, I know I am an entitled, whiny wuss. Don't remind me!

2 comments to Tight:

De Anne said...

I remember those times so bad. I remember scrounging for change throughout the apartment, on the sidewalk and parking lot so that I could buy a small package of diapers to get me through a couple of days. These aren't the fun days, but they are the days that give us character. Learn from them, remember them, and you'll be a much better person because of it.

the Lola Letters said...

I think that when "tight" experiences help you to really take in and savor the little things (like feeling rich and full of joy in the simple act of splitting a chicken nugget kids meal with your little one) that makes them completely awesome/worthwhile.

You articulated that perfectly.

I could SO relate...so can EVERYONE I think! (and I actually feel sorry for people who have never had to feel that way because it is such a platform for gratitude and greater perspective.)

Well said!