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Haagen Dazs!

31 May 2010
Here's hoping June is easier on our family than May was. I've been feeling sick all weekend, which has been very disappointing. Hawk to Sparrow to the park for 3 hours today, so it has been nice to be alone for once! But I miss my little family, and wish I had the energy to play and frolic. Or something.

Last night I was so sick, and the only thing that sounded even remotely appetizing was ice cream. I have heard good things about Haagen Dazs Five, so I asked Hawk to run to the store and get me some (yes, on a Sunday, yes I am a sinner.)

It was the best ice cream I have ever tasted. It was so amazingly good. It was almost like eating custard, it was so rich and thick and tasty. I tried the vanilla bean, and shared (grudgingly) with Hawk. But I am going to get some milk chocolate and try that one, because oh man, this new brand is so delicious.

(And on a side note, don't eat Haagen Dazs Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream. The cookie dough chunks are pretty much the nastiest thing I have ever tasted. Such a disappointment, especially after the glory that was Haagen Dazs Five Vanilla Bean!)

Giggle giggle

20 May 2010
Hawk doesn't get enough airtime on this blog, and so for your reading pleasure, I give you a conversation we had last night while lying in bed.

M: I read this crazy thing in the Book of Mormon about this guy, and he was bad, and he lead a war party, and then when they lost, some soldier chopped his scalp off and was like "Nyyaaah I have your head on a sword!" And the guy kept trying to keep the war going! Dumb. Also, Captain Moroni is awesome. Did you know he was only twenty five when he fought that war?

H: Yeah, he was a cool guy. He died pretty young, when he was in his 50s. I guess the stress of the wars got to him.

M: Um, 50s back in ancient times was not young. It was pretty old.

H: No, actually, I read somewhere that King Benjamin lived to be in his 90s.

(long discussion about 50s being really old back in the ancient ancient times)

M: Whatever. So how did Moroni die?

H: Old age.

Oh it was funny. Maybe you had to be there, but after at least 5 minutes of him staunchly defending his knowledge of the fact that ancient Indians lived to be much older than their 50s, and then not even missing a beat with "old age"... oh. It made me giggle.

Sparrow also made me giggle today. He likes to sing the "Hello Song," which he has learned from Music Together. This morning it went something like this.

"Hewwo, Sparrow, go gwada see you, hewwo, Mommy, so gwada see you. Hewwo, Daddy, so gwada see you, hewwo, auntie, so gwada see you, hewwo, fire truck, so gwada see you hewwo, drink, so gwada see yoooooooou."

Your badness level is unusually high for someone your size.

13 May 2010
Today was an absolute nightmare.

On Thursdays we attend a Music Together class in a little strip mall in Sandy. It's got a huge parking lot and lots of stores, including a RiteAid, a Ream's (grocery store), a gas station, a Carl's Jr with a drive-thru, and a yarn store and pet store. After music class is over, we usually go to the pet store to see the puppies, and sometimes to the yarn store because they have a little play area in back with toys so I can shop while Sparrow plays.

Today I was helping Tiffany, our music teacher, clean up and Sparrow took off out the door. I found him in the pet store, playing with their vacuum. The pet store is next door to music class, so it wasn't too bad, but I still put him in time out and told him NOT to do that again and how bad it was that he ran away blah blah blah. Then we went back over to the pet store and were in the back looking at puppies with our friends. I was holding a baby bunny and handed it over to my friend and then Sparrow was gone.

I looked all over the pet store for him and he wasn't there. He wasn't playing with the vacuum or in the fish area. He. Was. Gone. I walked outside and called for him. One of the other families in our music class saw me and came over to see if they could help. I ran up and down the parking lot, looking in between cars, looking under cars, yelling "SPARROW!" I called Hawk and asked him what to do. My friends were in some of the stores asking if anyone had seen the little two year old boy with blond hair in a gray shirt. I mean this kid was GONE.

I ran all the way down to the yarn store, wondering if he went over there (it's a long ways away, but I thought maybe he remembered where it was.) When I asked the owners if they had seen him and they said no, that is when I lost it. I started to cry and called Hawk and told him to call the police. There were about 10 people searching for him, some were driving around the parking lot, some were walking around. I was terrified that he had been hit by a car, or that he had wandered into the busy busy street. I went over to our car to see if he had gotten inside. As I shut the door and started going back over to the grocery store, a man in a gold car drove around the grocery store and had Sparrow in the driver's seat with him.

I just have no words for that moment.

Apparently Sparrow had gone out the back door of the pet store, and was standing in the back of the strip mall by the dumpster. The gentleman found him and he got right in the car and was having a great time "driving." The man who found him was like "he is so sweet and so cute." I was struggling with wanting to squeeze him and give him cookies forever or wanting to kill him. I couldn't kill him because there were witnesses. I called Hawk and told him to tell the police not to come.

If I ever wondered how I felt about my child, if I ever questioned how much I love him and how much I want him to be safe - those questions and doubts were resolved in the twenty-odd minutes he was lost today.

The worst part is, he has no idea. He has no. clue. what could have happened. He doesn't know he could have been killed or taken and sold into sex slavery. I mean, he has NO idea! Someone could come up to him in 2 minutes and say "hey, want to ride in my car?" and he'd go with them without even blinking. This kid! He's so cute... but I keep telling myself that if anyone ever kidnapped him they would bring him back because he's such a brat.

I am still coming down off my adrenaline rush, but what a terrifying day. My child is going to wear a leash until he is 25. Not even kidding.

(And then on top of that, when we went back to the yarn store to tell them we had found him, he ran into the back of the store and stole a croissant off their break room table. Then when I was driving us home, someone was backing out and not watching and came within an inch of hitting us. Then a pigeon tried to fly into our windshield. I tell you what - I am duct taping Sparrow to the wall and I am never leaving our house again. Ever.)


Most mornings...

12 May 2010
Sometimes in a the morning, Sparrow and I just don't want to get out of our jammies. Especially yesterday, because it was freezing! So Sparrow stayed in his warm fuzzy footies, and I stayed in my sweats, and we came downstairs and snacked on toasted waffles and Ritz crackers. We feasted and watched Lilo and Stitch.

Have I mentioned this boy's obsession with Lilo and Stitch? He won't watch any other movie (except Baby Signing Time.) I even turned on Cars the other day, thinking that he would LOVE it. But nope, the whole time he kept saying "Car movie over? Watch Weeno Stitch now!"

At least he's learned how to pronounce Stitch correctly. For a while there, he was saying "b****." Yikes!


Um, what?

10 May 2010

... I am so confused.

Grief Redux

07 May 2010
I've pretty much gotten over the whole no-more-babies thing. I am usually able to laugh it off, treat it lightly, and not stress over it. It is what it is, it happened, it sucks, but I am moving on. I have moved on.

Except for every once in a while. Not when I think, "Oh, it would be so wonderful to hold a tiny baby that belongs to me," but when I think "oh, how I wish Sparrow had a little brother."

It's not for me that I grieve anymore. It's for my son. It's for his lost chance at having the sibling experience. It's because he will never be the big brother. He will never have a little brother or sister to annoy, pester, protect, love, and serve. He'll miss the whole sibling rivalry thing, and he'll miss the whole staying up late with your best friend who also happens to be your sibling thing, and he'll miss the bonding and fighting and loving and poking and teasing and all that goes along with siblings.

Sparrow is enough for me. He is a handful. He is hard to take care of and many days I just want to lay down and give up, because he is so crazy. I do not miss my fertility anymore.

I no longer grieve for myself, and grieving for someone else is a different and somewhat more difficult experience.

Baby Animal Birthday Party!

05 May 2010
On April 24th, we went to the baby animal birthday party at Thanksgiving Point. It was tons of fun, despite being crazy busy. We had a great time!


We saw this brand new baby horse take its first steps. I almost melted of the cuteness.


This baby goat was so soft and so sweet!


Hawk and Sparrow rode the cow train (a bunch of small cars hooked up to a tractor.) Sparrow had a blast, but I took this picture when the ride was over, and he was mad that he had to get out of the car.


This was after waiting in line for 45 minutes to ride the ponies. Sparrow had a nice little resting place on my shoulders.


Finally he got to ride a pony! Hawk and I were so proud - Hawk walked next to Sparrow for about 60 seconds, and then stood over by the side. Sparrow was able to ride his horse all by himself for the first time! There was a moment of panic when I could tell he was slipping, but he corrected himself quickly and he was fine. It was awesome.


He loves those ponies!


We stayed for about two hours, and when we left I snapped this picture of the baby pony who was already running around and chasing his mommy. So cute!

I want to be Gemma Arterton

04 May 2010
Yesterday I happened on a free promo screening of The Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time by complete accident. It was a quiet thing, not promoted anywhere except for on the indoor marquee. I was shocked.

I got to see this movie a month before it is being released, for FREE. I am not a professional movie critic, and I'm not all that knowledgeable about the Prince of Persia universe, but here is my review of The Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time anyway.

Prince of Persia was AMAZING. I mean, seriously. One of the better movies I have seen. There was plenty of action, but it wasn't overly graphic, so I think kids 12+ would be able to watch without issue. The action was amazing. The parkour was awesome. The fight scenes were perfect and kept you on the edge of your seat. There were some scary scenes involving snakes, but they ended pretty quickly.

The story was perfect. From my friend who is a huge fan of the Prince of Persia games, he said that they did it JUST right. I haven't played the games, so I didn't go in with any preconceived opinions, but I think everyone could enjoy this movie, no matter what their background knowledge of the Prince of Persia is.

The acting was spot on - Ben Kingsley did a great job, as did Gemma Atherton. I know there were reservations about Jake Gyllenhaal as the Prince, but he did an incredible job. He looked the part and he played the part without any flaws. The only complaint I had was that his accent was a bit off in some places, but seriously, he did wonderfully.

I also really enjoyed watching the ponies.

The special effects were great and the movie was really just beautifully done. It was a pleasure to watch, and when it was over I was surprised at how quickly it had moved. It wasn't a long movie by any means. I would definitely go see it again. It was worth the price of FREE, and also worth the price of a real movie ticket. Go see Prince of Persia when it comes out - it's a great movie, and I think it will do well. In fact, I really hope it does, so that Hollywood decides to make more movies that don't completely suck!