- I have been feeling stagnant, bored, unfulfilled and dissatisfied with my life.
- I have been whining about the (ridiculous) temperature and wishing there was a way for me to go live on the Oregon Coast during the summer.
- I have been missing the companionship of women - Dove moved, and Owly has always lived far away, and I miss both of them deeply. I miss having that bond and friendship and, well, the fun!
- I have been moping a lot, being a brat, nagging and berating and belittling Hawk.
- I have not been working on my mental health issues as much as I should have.
- I have been putting off working or being the slightest bit productive for playing on the Internet.
I really hate the summer. I mean seriously. I don't sleep as well, I don't like to go outside, I don't even want to move for fear of getting hot. I would kill for a little cabin or even tent somewhere on the Oregon Coastline.
My tentative plan for fixing all these latelies? I don't know. Two things I really am setting in stone are that I am going to pray, for real (meaning not just in my head) every day, and I am going to read my scriptures every day.
As for the things I am not really setting in stone, for fear of overwhelming myself and ending up with my butt fused to the couch again, I am going to try a few things.
- Get some form of exercise every single day, even if it's just taking Sparrow for a short walk to the mailbox and dumpster
- Work on keeping my house clean, or at least cleaner
- Shower before 11 a.m.
- Limit Sparrow to one movie a day
- Get one project done a week, whether that be decluttering an area or making something.
- Work on saving some monies so we can take a trip to California in November
- Maybe...MAYbe... get Hawk to set up a time limit on our wireless, so that I can only be online after 2. I tried this before in our apartment, but it didn't work because people had unsecured wireless I could steal. There's no unsecured wireless here.
- If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
I don't know. Writing that list was really hard, and kind of painful. It's hard to be a good person and parent and wife when you don't feel well mentally. I am down a lot, and I don't know what else to do to fix that. Argh.
I do also have a goal to get us out of the house four times a week. Mondays we have Antigravity Yoga, (a parent child class!) and Thursdays we have Music Together, so there are two things down. Maybe we will aim to get to the grocery store on Tuesday and then a random field trip on another day.
This week I want to take Sparrow to the aquarium. He has been really interested in sea animals since we visited SeaWorld. I took him to see Disneynature's Oceans at the dollar theater last week and he really enjoyed it.
I thought it was boring, but whatever. Pierce Brosnan narrating just didn't do it for me.
Anyway, let's hope we can get back to a happier life soon.