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19 July 2010
  • I have been feeling stagnant, bored, unfulfilled and dissatisfied with my life.
  • I have been whining about the (ridiculous) temperature and wishing there was a way for me to go live on the Oregon Coast during the summer.
  • I have been missing the companionship of women - Dove moved, and Owly has always lived far away, and I miss both of them deeply. I miss having that bond and friendship and, well, the fun!
  • I have been moping a lot, being a brat, nagging and berating and belittling Hawk.
  • I have not been working on my mental health issues as much as I should have.
  • I have been putting off working or being the slightest bit productive for playing on the Internet.

I really hate the summer. I mean seriously. I don't sleep as well, I don't like to go outside, I don't even want to move for fear of getting hot. I would kill for a little cabin or even tent somewhere on the Oregon Coastline.

My tentative plan for fixing all these latelies? I don't know. Two things I really am setting in stone are that I am going to pray, for real (meaning not just in my head) every day, and I am going to read my scriptures every day.

As for the things I am not really setting in stone, for fear of overwhelming myself and ending up with my butt fused to the couch again, I am going to try a few things.

  • Get some form of exercise every single day, even if it's just taking Sparrow for a short walk to the mailbox and dumpster
  • Work on keeping my house clean, or at least cleaner
  • Shower before 11 a.m.
  • Limit Sparrow to one movie a day
  • Get one project done a week, whether that be decluttering an area or making something.
  • Work on saving some monies so we can take a trip to California in November
  • Maybe...MAYbe... get Hawk to set up a time limit on our wireless, so that I can only be online after 2. I tried this before in our apartment, but it didn't work because people had unsecured wireless I could steal. There's no unsecured wireless here.
  • If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

I don't know. Writing that list was really hard, and kind of painful. It's hard to be a good person and parent and wife when you don't feel well mentally. I am down a lot, and I don't know what else to do to fix that. Argh.

I do also have a goal to get us out of the house four times a week. Mondays we have Antigravity Yoga, (a parent child class!) and Thursdays we have Music Together, so there are two things down. Maybe we will aim to get to the grocery store on Tuesday and then a random field trip on another day.

This week I want to take Sparrow to the aquarium. He has been really interested in sea animals since we visited SeaWorld. I took him to see Disneynature's Oceans at the dollar theater last week and he really enjoyed it.

I thought it was boring, but whatever. Pierce Brosnan narrating just didn't do it for me.

Anyway, let's hope we can get back to a happier life soon.

6 comments to Lately:

TopHat said...

I found myself nodding at each of those points. Definitely need exercise, definitely need to cut back on Internet, definitely need to stop abusing Netflix and letting Margaret watch TV all day, etc.

I hope you can make some progress!

jenontheedge.com said...

I've been there. Summers with two little ones and no preschool used to be hard for me. It was too hot to go out but we got bored staying in.

One thing we used to do was go to programs at the library -- story hour, music time, etc. I don't know if your library has those, but you might check to see if they do.

Another thing I did was keep a running list of emergency projects or activities for those times when we really had nothing to do and the girls were whining to watch more Playhouse Disney. One winner was covering the kitchen table with a sheet and turning the area underneath into a fort. Play Doh was another sure fire hit. Painting with water (giving the girls a bucket of water and a pile of house painting brushes and letting them "paint" the outside of the house) was another fun thing we did.

Nisha said...

So, check it. There is a sweet FREE beach in Herriman. IT wouldn't take too long to get there from you house. Herriman Beach. Here is some info on it. http://www.desert-sharks.com/BB/showthread.php?tid=3730

Get the Tobster some sand toys and yourself a floatie and go cool off at this place. Take a large old bedsheet to throw your stuff on. You'll love it. Throw Toby in the raft and put your arms around it. Swim around for some exercise.

Stephanie said...

It has been really hot lately. I like the heat but I'd be ok if it cooled down now :) I wanted to tell you that I understand what it's like to have all your friends and such move away. Seems like every person I meet and become friends with ends up moving away, physically or emotionally, sometimes both :( You're not alone. I would love to hang out with you! You're funny and I love you!!
Don't be so hard on yourself. You are a great person, wife and mother. I think it's great you are setting goals; just remember to take baby steps :)

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