Home | Posts RSS | Comments RSS | Login

New plans, again

04 September 2010
Remember how excited I was about going back to school?

I dropped out.

It's actually been a long slow process. In May I started getting nervous and feeling less than great about going back. In July, my dad got a new job. He had been working at BYU, so I was going to get half-tuition. Tuition still isn't very much compared to normal schools (it's around $2K a semester) but it made me even more nervous. So I dropped my classes down to 2 credits.

See, I had been really worried about leaving Sparrow at day care. An uncle was going to be taking Sparrow and while he would get to interact with his two cousins aged 3 and 4 and he would likely learn Spanish as they are Spanish-speaking, I wasn't comfortable with the idea of Sparrow becoming...well, like other kids. I mean, he's already hyper enough, he already screams enough, and I don't really want to have him scream all the time because during day care time he has to compete for attention. That probably doesn't make sense, but trust me. There was a huge difference in my voice volume and my siblings' when I was growing up - and I was not a day care kid.

Then money got a little tighter. And I visited a few pre-schools and didn't like what I saw. And the pre-schools I do approve of require the child to be 3+ and/or potty trained. And a few of the schools cost more than my tuition would have, which just ain't gonna fly. And I just kept feeling worse and worse about it.

So I dropped out. I'm a little bummed, let's be honest here. I had really looked forward to going back, and I was excited, and I even bought a new back pack and a few supplies so that was really exciting. Now the plan is to wait until next fall, when Sparrow will be both potty trained and 3.5. And hopefully I will be ready by then.

In the mean time, we are going to stay home together. We will continue taking Music Together classes and I will take Anti-gravity Yoga classes. I have a few textbooks I got at a thrift store, two are Spanish books and one is a Nursing Assistant workbook. I am going to utilize those. I am making a goal to read 300 pages a week of intelligent literature.

I am looking forward to going back to school someday. But for now, I will work on my education by myself, and it will be okay. I might take an independent study course, I might get my CNA, I might not. Whatever I decide, it will involve lots of reflection, prayer, and study. But it will work out, because it always does.

Well, usually anyway.

3 comments to New plans, again:

Jennifer (Jen on the Edge) said...

I'm sorry that you have to postpone your plans, but your reasons sound really solid.

Is there an option for online classes so that you could take one or two this year and get a jump start on your degree?

Leah said...

I'm sorry you had to drop out. I know what it's like to agonize over whether or not it is the right time. I think waiting until next fall is a good plan. Andrew will be nearly 4 when I start in the spring and I feel really confident that he can handle himself for a few hours a week with someone else. I also feel like he'll be able to tell me if he's uncomfortable with the situation.

I'm not sure about screaming and daycare though. I've known quite a few very loud kids, and they're not daycare kids. Some kids just scream. I think there's a possibility that he might learn that he can't get attention that way too. I don't know. You probably won't know until you try it out.

Best of luck with whatever you decide. We missed you the other day.

Misty said...

You may feel validated to read the very extensive, well researched article "The Problem With Daycare" (it is really worth reading the whole thing!)

I am so surprised at how many people believe that education is equal to a four year degree. There are many, many ways to be educated, and the majority of recent graduates I know would not fit into that category.

Even as recently as last month, I found out that a delightful young woman I know who spent four years at college and graduated and has been working at the Olive Garden for a year.

A four year degree can be a symbol of determination, commitment and perseverance, but isn't staying home with Sparrow, in spite of your own desires, an even greater symbol of a woman who can commit to something hard (and, I might add, completely selfless) and stick with it?

In the Family Proclamation, it states that mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. That is the ideal. That is the rule. God will make it OBVIOUS to you when and if that ever is the exception, and then you will know you should go to school. God knows when and if you ever need to have that degree.

In the meantime, you do not have to stop becoming educated. Reading great books is a great way to stay educated. You don't have to feel uneducated because you don't have a BS,Master's or Doctorate. There are plenty of people around with those who are educated beyond their intelligence.

My mother had 10 children and felt that the time was right to go to nursing school when her baby turned 12. She became a fine nurse, and enjoyed becoming skilled and certified to the world. She was ALWAYS a well educated woman.

And, the entire time she was raising children, she never once had to worry about keeping her nursing skills up to date or taking continuing education credits....There were hard times, but instead of relying on a degree for "just in case" she relied on God.

(And I do know that sometimes the answer is to get a degree, but the majority of times, especially when you are a young mother, I think God has a better way.)