Remember how excited I was about going back to school?
I dropped out.
It's actually been a long slow process. In May I started getting nervous and feeling less than great about going back. In July, my dad got a new job. He had been working at BYU, so I was going to get half-tuition. Tuition still isn't very much compared to normal schools (it's around $2K a semester) but it made me even more nervous. So I dropped my classes down to 2 credits.
See, I had been really worried about leaving Sparrow at day care. An uncle was going to be taking Sparrow and while he would get to interact with his two cousins aged 3 and 4 and he would likely learn Spanish as they are Spanish-speaking, I wasn't comfortable with the idea of Sparrow becoming...well, like other kids. I mean, he's already hyper enough, he already screams enough, and I don't really want to have him scream all the time because during day care time he has to compete for attention. That probably doesn't make sense, but trust me. There was a huge difference in my voice volume and my siblings' when I was growing up - and I was not a day care kid.
Then money got a little tighter. And I visited a few pre-schools and didn't like what I saw. And the pre-schools I do approve of require the child to be 3+ and/or potty trained. And a few of the schools cost more than my tuition would have, which just ain't gonna fly. And I just kept feeling worse and worse about it.
So I dropped out. I'm a little bummed, let's be honest here. I had really looked forward to going back, and I was excited, and I even bought a new back pack and a few supplies so that was really exciting. Now the plan is to wait until next fall, when Sparrow will be both potty trained and 3.5. And hopefully I will be ready by then.
In the mean time, we are going to stay home together. We will continue taking Music Together classes and I will take Anti-gravity Yoga classes. I have a few textbooks I got at a thrift store, two are Spanish books and one is a Nursing Assistant workbook. I am going to utilize those. I am making a goal to read 300 pages a week of intelligent literature.
I am looking forward to going back to school someday. But for now, I will work on my education by myself, and it will be okay. I might take an independent study course, I might get my CNA, I might not. Whatever I decide, it will involve lots of reflection, prayer, and study. But it will work out, because it always does.
Well, usually anyway.