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Family Portrait Week 2

28 February 2010
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I am very sick today with a head-cold or another bout of pneumonia. Sparrow was naughty at church so I brought him home early. Hawk has been trying to keep our family from imploding. We remembered at the very last second about weekly family pictures, so this one was snapped hastily from an odd angle right before Sparrow went to bed.

Ugh

26 February 2010
Sparrow is upstairs, likely getting into mischief, and I should go check on him but I am busy downstairs dying.

I ate ground beef last night.

Ever since I got pregnant, ground beef and I do not get along. Since I had Sparrow, sometimes I can tolerate it. But very rarely. And clearly, I should just never even try. There's a hunk of dead animal rotting in my tummy and it's not a nice feeling.

I think I'll have a nice vegetarian salad for lunch today. Mmm, Cafe Rio has my favorite salads. I just love that jalapeno ranch dressing so much. Last time we went I bought a vat of it and I use it on basically everything. I could drink it. But that thought just makes me feel sick. Because there's a hunk of DEAD COW killing me. I am sorry cow. I will never eat you again.

Unless I want a steak. Then there's no promises. Sometimes a girl's just gotta have a nice mooing medium rare steak. EW BUT NOT TODAY.

Hey, let's move on. I should clearly blog more, because I have like 2 months worth of photos just sitting on my flickr account, sad and lonely and wanting to be posted. So here are some from the other night, when Sparrow and I had a tickle fight and also he learned about the joy of horsey rides on Mommy. It was hilarious and awesome. Until he fell off my back and landed on his head. We have hardwood floors. Don't worry, my awesome ninja skills broke his fall. Mostly.

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Okay, just checked on Sparrow and he had locked himself in his bathroom and was brushing his teeth. My kid is AWESOME.

We deal, we deal.

22 February 2010
I've been following PostSecret for almost as long as it's been up. I miss a few weeks here and there, but this week a secret really struck me. It's about a girl who joined the LDS church to marry her husband, and she feels bad because she's faking her faith.

Interesting.

Some of the comments on her blog make me sad. You know, there's the standard anti-Mormon ones that are "the church is a cult! Get out now!" and then there are the really sad ones - real Church members who are being judgmental and downright rude to this poor girl. Wow guys, way to fellowship and bolster up other people's faith and way to set an example for the rest of the world. Sigh.

I just hope that the girl can find the path that will make her happy, be that Mormonism or not.

I used to fake it. Until I moved out of my parent's house at age 19 I faked it. I used to get so angry that our family had so many problems and yet we had to appear perfect at church. My mom would get mad that my dad and I didn't get along and threaten me with the fact that we were an eternal family. Not cool, Mom. It wasn't until I confided in Hawk that he helped me realize that a loving Father wouldn't force you to stay in a family with people who hated you/you hated. Not that I hate my dad, we just don't get along.

At 19 I quit church. I didn't go, I went to Christian churches, I went to a Catholic church, I tried atheism and agnosticism. None of those choices felt right for me. I felt uncomfortable and hollow all the time. I was depressed, I was suicidal some days, I was drowning.

I still feel that way. Sometimes. But I started going back to the LDS church when I was 20, and even though I am still inactive and sometimes have no idea what the people in church are talking about and even though I still have my doubts and questions and such...

I feel happy and complete and full when I am active in my faith. I feel calm and at peace. Most of the time. When I feel like crap, I am able to pull myself out of it by thinking about Christ and reading the scriptures and praying. Do I know, 100% without a doubt that the church is true? No. But the fact that I feel the way I do when I am living the standards of the gospel? That makes it true enough for me.

So um, amen or something.

Betcha didn't know I'm a stalker.

18 February 2010
A while ago, I decided to stalk Jia from Color Me Untypical. Oh yes I did. I read all of her blog entries on all of her blogs. I was working on gearing up the courage to plead with her to be my friend when fate threw me a bone.

I won a giveaway. And I had to email Jia to claim it.

So I did, and I admitted to being her stalker. And it is all documented here. And now I am semi-famous on the Internets, at least for a day.

I will be opening a stalker-seminar later this month for all you stalker wannabe's out there.

I love Jia, I really do. I think we could be best buds if she would just move to Utah because there's no way in Hell I'm moving to Hell New Mexico. Or any of those Southwest type states. Nope. Jia is an honest blogger - refreshingly honest. She admits to having her own mental issues and I'm impressed that she is willing to write about them so candidly. Whereas my mental issues are hiding on a separate blog. Her relationship with her husband is adorable and sweet and funny and a little weird.

And she's just awesome.

And that is why I stalk her. Regularly.

So there.

Family Portrait Week 1

16 February 2010
I've been meaning to do this starting the first week of January, but I kept forgetting. On Sunday, though, I finally remembered - oh yeah! Weekly family pictures!! And not only did I remember, I actually took a minute to figure out the self-timer on my camera so we could get a picture of us all at the same time. Baby steps, people. Baby steps. Next thing you know I'll be developing my own film.

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February 14: Sparrow's Biblical counterpart was talked about during Church, but since he was screaming I had to take him outside the chapel so we missed that lesson (and am not sure if the dude they were talking about was the bad one or the good one.) I had a very soul-soothing experience talking with the bishop and received a beautiful Priesthood blessing from him. Hawk brought me special stem-dyed daisies that are just beautiful. We had a delicious dinner of veal, spaghetti, and banana pudding with tangerine Italian soda. Sparrow sucked down the soda in thirty seconds flat. I am never buying veal again. We watched a cartoon about Jesus bringing Lazarus back from the dead. Sparrow learned how to say "Mary," "Joseph," and "friend." Nobody died and we had a fairly decent, calm and peaceful day.

Sparrow has decided that everything he wants is "mine," and everything he wants and can't have is a "toy." Thus, when I caught him pulling the knives out of the silverware drawer today he cried "toy! toy! mine!" I can hear him now playing with something he probably shouldn't and saying "My, my, my car my toy." (Don't worry, the knives have been put away until we can get a lock for the silverware drawer. Why are adhesive locks so much more expensive than drill-the-hole locks?)

In the time it took me to write this post, Sparrow has rearranged my entire kitchen. Clearly I need to learn to write faster.

People of the world, thank you.

11 February 2010
Today was just awful. At least, thus far. But my interactions with people today have been amazing.

I ate a bad (read: sugary) dinner last night and so I couldn't function this morning. Not even a tiny bit. So I overslept and we missed Sparrow's music class. He was very upset about the whole thing. So was I. We were going to be late to antigravity yoga, so I was stressed and rushed.

When I opened the baby gate at the top of our stairs, Sparrow stuck his hand in the latch just as I opened it and it ripped the skin off his finger. It bled everywhere. We didn't have any Band-Aids, so I wrapped a napkin around it and we headed to yoga. I called on the way to let them know I was late. When I got there, Mr. Mulder (yes Aunt Owly, that is his real name) was SO nice and helpful with the whole thing. He couldn't find any Band-Aids either, so we wrapped Sparrow's finger in gauze and taped it on.

Sparrow went to day-care while I hung upside down from the ceiling and tried to de-stress. I love Antigravity yoga. Afterward, we went to the grocery store to buy some Band-Aids, only to realize that I left my debit card at home in an effort to save us money. And the Walmart Visa card I keep in my dashboard was out of money, because apparently they charge you $3 a month and I only put $20 on there in case of an emergency and we haven't had any yet. CURSE YOU, WALMART!!!

So we drove and got the debit card, Sparrow crying all the way. At one point he screamed so loud it literally shut my phone off and my phone wouldn't turn out. (Later I discovered my phone was just out of batteries, but still, it was scary and frustrating!) We finally got Sparrow some Band-Aids, now we're just working on leaving it on his finger.

The nice lady at the grocery store gave him THREE cookies because he was such a good boy and had had such a bad day. Then I took him to Burger King to get him some French fries, because he hasn't had any all week and I figured he deserved some today. Of course, BK charges $1.82 for their stupid small fry and I only had $1.38, which I discovered at the drive-up window. I told the kid "sorry, I don't have enough," and he said "oh just give me what you have, it's okay." And so Sparrow got his fries after all.

Thank you, thank you Harmon's Grocery Store and Burger King Employee. And Mr. Mulder from Imagination Place. We appreciate you helping us out during our most horrible day in recent memory. Blech!

2010: The Year of the Metal Tiger

06 February 2010
I like astrology. I'm not super into it or anything, but I like reading the descriptions of different Zodiac signs. I also really like Chinese astrology. Maybe I wouldn't like it so much if I wasn't born in the year of such a cool animal.

I'm a Tiger. A Fire Tiger. A Fire Tiger born under Scorpio. In other words, I freaking rock. Tigers are passionate, intense, emotional creatures. Scorpios are too. Tigers are really lucky. They can also be somewhat vain.

Tigers tackle everything in their lives in brief bursts of energy, collapsing afterwards in a heap of exhaustion. Yep, that sounds like me. A Tiger’s meanest enemy is the damage he can inflict upon himself in the midst of a temper tantrum. Often, failing at a given task or being unproductive in his personal or professional life can cause a Tiger to experience a depression. Criticism from loved ones can also generate this type of Tiger reaction. Yep yep yep.

Tiger parents are quite similar to the characters of their wildlife counterparts. They lavish their offspring with treats and spoil them with generosity. Tiger parents can be fun as kittens, playing family games and getting great enjoyment from it. Still, adult Tigers will become enraged if one of their children has gone too far, or is disrespectful. As open-minded and liberal as they are, they will not, under any circumstances, tolerate bad manners, or a lack of respect for other adults.

I pretty much copy-pasted all this information from here. 2010 is the year of the Metal Tiger, which I thought was pretty cool. Makes me wish I could have another baby this year - I would love to have a little girl born in October, a 101010 Tiger baby!

Hawk and Sparrow are both Pigs - Sparrow was born just before the year of the rat came around. Hawk is a Taurus Water Pig and Sparrow is an Aries Fire Pig. Pigs dislike illegal behavior, discord, and not having anything to eat. Pigs are great workers and very dedicated, always willing to help. When a pig marries, he is in it for the long haul and will be a wonderful and supportive partner.

Pig parents are dedicated to their children and would do anything to protect their family. They are affectionate and loving.

Pig children are enjoyable to be around and quick to laugh, and are always making new friends. Pigs are generally very easy-going.

What year were you born in? What sign were you born under? Does your horoscope fit you? Are you an awesome Fire Tiger too?

Didorawr!

03 February 2010
Today Sparrow and I met a group of mommies at The Museum of Ancient Life at Thanksgiving Point. It was a blast! My mom gave Sparrow a membership to Thanksgiving Point for his birthday (really the pass is for me, ages 2 and under are free for most things at Thanksgiving Point) and we got to activate it today. Sparrow and I went a little early and got a snack at the Deli/Cafe area - he asked for "fies" and I split an eclair with him. Having been off sugar for the last 3 days, the eclair was very sweet, but oh-so-delicious.

I still haven't figured out how to work my camera, so you have to deal with my crappy photo skillz. And unfortunately, I am allergic to cameras so I didn't get a shot of my super-awesome shirt. Today I wore my shirt that has verses from Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven written forming the shape of a raven. Really hard to explain, but oh what a cool shirt. Never have I felt my English Major awesomeness brimming so ...brimmingly.

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Sparrow with his friends. That's Sam (in the hat) from the Progressive Pioneer and one of Sparrow's other friends. Sparrow ate a lot of sand. I have a weird kid.

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Sparrow riding a... dinosaur. With all the kid-chasing and mommy-conversating, there wasn't a lot of learning on this trip. But that's okay, there's always next time.

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Oh noes!! Shaaaark!

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Sparrow and Sam played in the dirt for a while.

We had a great time. Lots of kids and mommies and I didn't have to clean up any messes! It was like a miracle. We'll definitely go back to the museum - it was really fun. But after our afternoon was over, Sparrow and I needed a rest. So Hawk cooked dinner and snapped this picture.

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Sparrow watching Little Bear on my iTunes, perched on my hip. Bwah!

Humans suck.

02 February 2010
Sometimes, I really, really hate the human race.

I love wolves. Words cannot express how much I adore wolves. I have always loved them and pretty much know as much as a non-wolf-park-ranger person can know about them. I think they are beautiful and majestic creatures and I have always identified with them. I remember being devastated to find out that wolves didn't live in Utah when I was a little girl.

Guess what? Wolves live in Utah now.

And yet some idiot senator wants to vote to get wolves taken off the endangered species list, so people can go out and kill them. For fun. Or for "protecting the livestock."

I get that some people have a legitimate reason to dislike wolves. I understand that wolves do attack sheep and cows and stuff. But to take wolves off the protected list just because of this one fact - NOT because wolves are attacking people or coming into the cities or wreaking havoc and causing the Apocalypse? Screw you, Mr. Senator.

I'm not a tree-hugger by any means, but I do think that humans are total dipshits for screwing up the natural habitat of so many animals. Dude, just let the wolves (and the elk, and the deer, and the bunnies, and the dodos) live in peace. Honestly, what is so hard to do about that?

Snarl.

Photobucket Image from Flickr.

And so it begins.

01 February 2010
Today I started a new diet. It's not really a diet-diet, like South Beach or whatever. It's a Lifestyle Change.

I just want a freakin cookie.

But on this Lifestyle Change Diet, I am off carbs and sugar and basically grains. Until I am over my addiction (and let's face it, SO ADDICTED) to all the bad stuff.

Actually, it hasn't been too hard today. Except for the one moment in Whole Foods when I saw their black and white cookies and whimpered. But I held strong. Bwah. I also had two sips of Hawk's apple Tango (a British soda, we are out of Tango now so I can't be tempted anymore.) I forgive myself though because Tango is made with real fruit juice and no chemicals.

At least it's better than Diet Coke, okay?

So today I have eaten 4 pineapple chunks, 2 hardboiled eggs, 2 teeny tiny chicken legs and half a teeny tiny chicken breast, a cup of grapes and pineapple (SO GOOD OMG), a pound (yes, seriously, I was starving!) of asparagus mmmmm, four small mushrooms, 8 small shrimps, half a cup of corn and half a cup of broccoli. Oh and 4 beef jerky sticks.

Wow, writing it all out like that makes me feel somewhat piggish. But seriously, I'd give my left ankle for a cookie. That's the crappy ankle, by the way. But actually, I think I'll just have an apple later tonight. If I get hungry again, because right now I'm pretty darn full. And I've felt really great today, all things considered. Pretty decent energy levels, and I haven't felt sick even once (and that is unheard of for me.)

I also swam at the gym for an hour this morning, burning approximately 1000 calories. And I have had 150 oz. in water, which is my recommended daily amount. Man, I am going to float away.