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Find it, Mommy!

26 December 2010
Today we were driving around. Sparrow was in the backseat wearing his coat. Hawk and I were sitting quietly when suddenly we heard "where's my hand?"

We looked at each other, not sure what Sparrow had really said.

"Where's my hand?!"

I turned around. Sparrow was peering intently down the sleeve of his coat, where his hand had gotten stuck.

"Where's my hand?! Where is it, Mommy? Mommy, can you find it? WHERE'S MY HAND?! WHERE'S MY HAND?!?! I lost it! I LOST MY HAND."

Maybe you had to be there, but Hawk and I almost died, we were laughing so hard.

I'm related to the Real Santa Claus.

24 December 2010
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Bamboo and Panda wish you a merry Catmas. They would like to inform you that each home should have a tree inside for the feline's ultimate enjoyment, and ideally it would have several ornaments for knocking down and trailing around the house. Hawk and I would like to inform you that we are thrilled that the tree and the ornaments are going away on Sunday.

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Hawk and Sparrow both have "baby's first Christmas" ornaments. My mom neglected me. Or mine is hanging on her tree, one of those.

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This nativity is placed far away from angry toddler hands. Don't worry, Sparrow has his own to play with. Which has lead to me saying, many times, "Don't throw the baby Jesus! Don't eat the baby Jesus!" etc.

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My grandma made me this ABC's of Christmas book using Christmas cards back in 1998. She collected tons of Christmas cards and made a book for each of her seven grandchildren.

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My grandma is fantastic.

And now I have a Christmas surprise for you.

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Look who I caught on camera!

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My grandpa? Santa Claus?! It's too good to be true! (No, Sparrow had no idea this was his great-grandpa. We told him Papa was taking a nap.)

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Happy Christmas.

I need a little Christmas, right this very minute.

14 December 2010
So, Mrs. Smith brought up an excellent point in her post the other day, about the Christmas spirit. You know, that "Christmas feeling" when it just feels... magical. And it made me think about my own feelings around this time of year.

This year, I haven't felt that magic yet. And thinking back, I haven't felt Christmas magic before the 24th for at least 3 years in a row.

You know what happened 3 years ago?

We got rid of TV. We still have a TV, but only for movies/Wii. As such, I no longer get to watch all the Christmas movies/specials/episodes and COMMERCIALS.

Can it really be that all my Christmas magic feelings were because of the TV? Was it all based off the commercialism surrounding the holidays? Crap!!

I had great plans this year of doing activities, crafts, snow-filled days and hot-chocolatey nights with Sparrow. We were going to talk about Christmas stuff and read Christmas books and yay Christmas and decorate and do everything this year. But then I got hit on the head, and then I got pneumonia, and I am just now coming off of the "always feeling wiped out" part of it. And now Sparrow has a cold too. We haven't had a lot of money this year so I haven't been able to go do as many activities as I'd like, or go shopping as much as I would like (and oh would I ever like!) So what I am saying is, I am having a minor existential crisis because I feel like a Scrooge and I'm worried that it's because Christmas always meant getting stuff and I REALLY need to get my priorities straightened!

And I'm trying to figure out how I feel about Santa - good, bad, or ugly? I'm falling somewhere in the middle of the spectrum here. Sparrow gets a chocolate from his advent calendar every day ("Christmas candy!") and he talks about Santa and can recognize pictures of him, but he doesn't get the whole "Santa will bring you a present if you're good." And I'm not sure I want to do that anyway. Argh. Parenting is confusing.

On the plus side, Sparrow and I have read a few Christmas stories. He has been learning Christmas songs (favorites being "The Little Drummer Boy" and the Hallelujah chorus, and also "Rudolph the Hot Sauce Reindeer," which makes me giggle every time.) He LOVES the Christmas tree being up, and even though our darn cats keep trying to scale the thing/bring us ornaments off it, I do have to admit I like having it up too. It's pretty.

Oh, and I'm a little upset because since I've been sick I haven't been able to sing in a couple of Christmas choirs I was looking forward to, and I was going to sing a duet with my mom at her church a few weeks ago but couldn't do it. Christmas music is something I look forward to starting in September, but I make myself wait till after Thanksgiving to sing/play/listen, so I'm bummed I haven't sung as much as I'd like. And my voice is only just starting to come back, darnit.

I don't know. I just feel like, Christmas is in 10 days, and I want this to be a special time for my family, but I don't know what to do to make it special and I don't want to spend millions of dollars but I do but I can't and I really hope it snows soon because right now it looks like February and that's just depressing.


And let me just be honest - part of me is just so done with 2010. Not a bad year all things considered, but I am really excited for 2011.

Sparrow and a snowstorm

08 December 2010
I'm feeling mostly better but I still have a nasty cough, frequent headaches and I get wiped out ridiculously easy. Still, thank goodness I got sick/concussed at the beginning of the month instead of over Christmas! (knock on wood.)

Look at these eyelashes and tell me they aren't ridiculous. What, I ask you, does a two year old boy need with eyelashes this long? It is obscene.

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Here he is with our intrepid cat. Yes, both of our felines like to play in the bath. They also beg for us to turn the faucet on so they can have running water to drink.
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Here is Sparrow, hiding in the car under his very favorite blanket. This blanket was placed on his incubator when he was in the NICU and we got to bring it home with us. Thank you, Project Linus! As a side note, if you ever find fleece fabric with this pattern, buy it and I'll pay you for it.
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The rest of the pictures are blurry, but that's because I was taking them while hanging out of a window on the freeway. We were only going 30 mph, because it was so slick and scary. It snowed for about 18 hours straight and we had 2.5 feet of snow when it finally stopped. These were all taken on November 28th.

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Later, we heard that there were over 300 accidents that night. We were lucky not to be among them. If it hadn't been our last chance to see my dad and his family for a long time, we wouldn't have ventured out of our house!

This is the road leading up to our house. I was worried we weren't going to make it, but our relatively new tires did a good job.

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Four Years

06 December 2010
Four years ago, almost to the minute, I became a Mrs.

Oh marriage. It hasn't been easy, and it hasn't always been fun, but I'm always glad to have Hawk by my side. He takes such great care of me and Sparrow.

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I'll love you dear, I'll love you
Till China and Africa meet
The the river jumps over the mountain,
and the salmon sing in the street.

I'll love you till the ocean
Is folded and hung out to dry...
--W.H. Auden

When it rains it pours!

03 December 2010
And now I have pneumonia.

It makes me laugh, but when I laugh, I cough, and when I cough it makes my head hurt. Dang it.

Not off to a good December

01 December 2010
On Monday, I shoveled a ton of snow off our driveway. We have a 2 car driveway and got 2 feet of snow, so you do the math. I was proud of myself for getting a work out in. It only took an hour.

Yesterday my lungs hurt, but I figured they were just sore from the cold air. I've been really tired but I thought it was because we were so busy last week.

last night was Hawk's holiday work party. They had it at this place that you can rent out, and it has different rooms of varying sizes. On the 3rd floor is an ice rink. Just for the novelty of it, we decided to try skating. I was doing really well, recalling my ice skating class in college. I did some sweet moves and even went backwards. The third time I went backwards...

SPLAT.

I landed on my head, elbow, butt. In that order. I lay there on the ice for a moment, and then two guys came and helped me up. I couldn't help it - I cried. Somebody from the other room came in and asked if I was okay - "I heard your head hit the ice from the other room." Everybody saw and heard me fall. My head didn't bleed, but it HURT and I saw spots and was dizzy.

I didn't sleep well last night. This morning I woke up with no voice, a sore throat and a nasty cough. Hawk came home at noon and my head was hurting so bad and I was feeling nauseous, so we went to the doctor, who told us to go to the ER. I spent 3 hours in the ER, mostly resting in a darkened quiet room (Hawk and Sparrow stayed in the waiting room, so I had naptime!) They did a CT scan of my brain, but there's no bleeding or anything so they sent me home with a diagnosis of a grade II concussion and a prescription for a painkiller.

I'm tired and I don't feel good. Pout.

And at the 2011 holiday party everyone is going to remember me as the girl who wiped out on the ice. Whine!