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30 Days of Truth: Day 27 and 28

05 February 2011
The best thing I have going for me right now. What does this even mean? This question puzzles me. I have my little family, but they're not "going for me." Am I being too literal? Hmm. I think the best thing I have going for me is my determination. I may not always have the follow-through (ie I am lazy) but I am determined to ... do stuff. I'm determined to improve as a parent. I'm determined to get on a normal sleep schedule. I'm determined to go back to school and get my degree. I'm determined to go back to Europe someday. I'm determined to get us out of debt. I'm determined not to kill my child and to raise him to be a productive human being who does not torment his mother at every turn SPARROW ARE YOU LISTENING?! I'M DETERMINED TO NOT KILL YOU STOP DRIVING ME CRAZY.

Day 28. If I got pregnant right now I would pee my pants. Probably literally as I really had a problem with that the first time around. I threw up a lot and when you're pregnant you have no bladder control so you can imagine the mess that was. I would also probably throw up. Then I would squee, rejoice, say happy thank you prayers, get really excited, cry (happiness and fear both), get monitored very carefully by the doctor, cry a lot more, buy tons and tons and tons of baby things and drive Hawk crazy with how much money I spend, spend all my time thinking about baby names, and if I was pregnant with a girl... oh. I would likely bankrupt us. Have I mentioned Gymboree's newborn giraffe line? (Seriously, go look at those clothes.) I would have killed for that when Sparrow was a newborn. I still might have to buy the hooded jacket, just to save for when Sparrow has kids. If I'm still around then. Since he drives me so crazy and all.

If I got someone else pregnant, that would be awesome. I hope it would be Hawk. Then he could SUFFER like I did for 7 months. Love you Hawk. Thanks for taking such good care of me. But I'd rather you deal with being pregnant and I'll take care of the baby. Sounds good.

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