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A plea for prayers

28 September 2011
Ladies and gentlemen of the Internets, I come to you today begging for your prayers, your good vibes, your karmatic waves, your universal happy thoughts of support.

Sparrow has been getting progressively worse in his behavior and nothing Hawk and I do is making even the slightest impression on this child.  Were it not for the intervention of my local hospital yesterday, Hawk might have been the one posting this, only instead of a plea for prayers it would have been a plea for donations for my funeral. 

We have an appointment on October 7th with a child-therapy group, and I know if we can just make it there it will be okay.  We may have work ahead of us, we may have scariness ahead of us, but at least the uncertainty that plagues us daily will be gone.  Every day we question ourselves - what are we doing wrong?  What if there's nothing "wrong" with him and he's a normal child and we're just losers?  What why what?

There's something quirky in my cute little son's head.  I don't know what it is.  I suspect many things - oppositional defiant disorder, ADHD, a cozy Sparrow spot on the autism spectrum, even Asperger's.  We need help.  We need help with this horrible child who has been a challenge since he was conceived.

So pray that we all survive till October 7th because seriously, Hawk and I are at the end of our collective rope. 

(P.S. Sparrow got kicked out of his preschool yesterday.  So while that solves some of my parental guilt/dilemmas over him being in there, it also makes it ten times harder - "why is he doing this? what have I done wrong?"  Boy, I sure can't wait till he's a teenager.)

Picture Essay

15 September 2011


This became


And this became


And then...

2008 - Four Generations



irvins2Ah, family.  2009


P1000385 Don't forget the fur babies.

DSC01877 2010 - Three Generations

DSC02781 And friends are the family you choose.

I love you, Mom.

DSC00289 My two favorite role models.


Here's to an eternity driving my family insane. 

Celebrate Family!

06 September 2011
I gotta tell ya, I've been having a rough time lately. It seems like no matter what I do (or don't do), there's never enough time to spend with my family. Does that sound totally lame? I admit, it sounds weird to me. And a little off-character, since I think I've spent the last 3 years moping that I don't get enough time to myself. But a couple of weeks ago Hawk and I took Sparrow to Lagoon, a theme park here in Utah, and I had so much fun spending the day with them and playing... I've been trying to recreate that, with varying levels of success.

Are we not awesome?  Say yes, them be real guns!

We're far from perfect. Sparrow has a goal to drive me as crazy as he possibly can, every single day. Hawk suffers from Selective Sight Syndrome, which has also spread to his ears. I actually am perfect, but I don't like to rub it in. I never yell, my house is spotless all the time, I cook 5-course gourmet dinners that are perfectly balanced and have no calories. I'm surprised Sparrow and Hawk can even handle how perfect I am.

Oh my boys. They put up with me so well.

Last year a couple of my favorite bloggers had a celebration of the 15th anniversary of the Proclamation to the World: The Family document. It was pretty much the most amazing thing to hit the blogosphere. This year, Jocelyn and Montserrat are upping the ante on their awesomeness and hosting another celebration on the family. It starts this Friday and we're gonna party like it's 1999. Oh yeah. There's gonna be blog hops, crafts, teaching ideas, prizes, snacks, and ceramic unicorns! Okay maybe not those last two.

Are you in? I am so in. Prepare yourself for lots of ooey gooey gross family love (no not that kind) comin' up, September 9th-23rd. Let's celebrate the awesomeness that is family.

For more information, check out this post at We Talk of Christ, We Rejoice in Christ, or this one at Chocolate on my Cranium.

Let us party on!

Picture party.

02 September 2011
The other day, I finished a project.


I made this shadowbox out of Sparrow's baby junk :) Sparrow was born 7 weeks early via emergency C-section and immediately delivered to an NICU in a different hospital. The two photographs are the only glimpse of my baby I had till he was 3 days old and I was released from my hospital. There is his teeny tiny hospital bracelet, along with the ID tag that was on his incubator at the NICU and a preemie diaper I saved to remember how small his little butt was. The heart is a Valentine that the NICU nurses made and taped to his incubator (Sparrow was released from the hospital 3 weeks after he was born and came home February 17, 2008.) The outfit is one I saw at Babies R' Us during my Christmas 2007 visit to my family but didn't buy because I was trying NOT to have a preemie. When Sparrow was born I called my grandma and begged her to find the outfit for me. It's hard to believe that when he came home from the hospital wearing the snuggly puppies, it was too big for him!


Here is Sparrow on his first day of preschool. I had more pictures but I forgot to edit out some hugely identifying info so you'll just have to wait in suspense.


And here's a frickin' huge spider that was on our porch a few days ago. Scared the crap out of me. Its web was a good 4 feet wide (not an exaggeration.) After psyching myself up for an hour I finally braved up enough, opened the sliding glass door, sprayed it with Raid and stomped the crap out of it as it twitched. I actually felt really bad that I killed it, but sorry little spider, you can't built a web using my son's wagon as a base.