Ladies and gentlemen of the Internets, I come to you today begging for your prayers, your good vibes, your karmatic waves, your universal happy thoughts of support.
Sparrow has been getting progressively worse in his behavior and nothing Hawk and I do is making even the slightest impression on this child. Were it not for the intervention of my local hospital yesterday, Hawk might have been the one posting this, only instead of a plea for prayers it would have been a plea for donations for my funeral.
We have an appointment on October 7th with a child-therapy group, and I know if we can just make it there it will be okay. We may have work ahead of us, we may have scariness ahead of us, but at least the uncertainty that plagues us daily will be gone. Every day we question ourselves - what are we doing wrong? What if there's nothing "wrong" with him and he's a normal child and we're just losers? What why what?
There's something quirky in my cute little son's head. I don't know what it is. I suspect many things - oppositional defiant disorder, ADHD, a cozy Sparrow spot on the autism spectrum, even Asperger's. We need help. We need help with this horrible child who has been a challenge since he was conceived.
So pray that we all survive till October 7th because seriously, Hawk and I are at the end of our collective rope.
(P.S. Sparrow got kicked out of his preschool yesterday. So while that solves some of my parental guilt/dilemmas over him being in there, it also makes it ten times harder - "why is he doing this? what have I done wrong?" Boy, I sure can't wait till he's a teenager.)