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Where's a good Doctor when you need one?

25 October 2011
Earlier I was driving around with Sparrow in the backseat. In his 3 years, 9 months and 27 days on this planet I have gotten pretty good at tuning him out. You know, when he's just yappin' to hear himself talk. He does that a lot. I'm starting to feel uncomfortably like someone could draw a comparison to this blog. Moving on.

This is an approximation of what most car trips look like.

And I thought to myself, "Self, remember that time in 8th grade when you totally stalked that cute kid? And how if you ever met him again you'd drop dead of embarrassment?" (True story: I was that scary nerdy stalker girl.) "And would it not be awesome if you could go back and change that whole era of your life? Or, instead of making hugely ginormous changes, just make little ones? Like, instead of getting cats, getting a plant instead? Because plants, you know, don't claw you or harass you in the middle of the night when they want fresh water and you have deigned to turn off their faucet in order to save on your water bill."

And then, because I am logical and I know these things, I decided that obviously, time machines are not going to work out. At least not before I turn 25 (a number that frightens me somewhat, and is looming. Looming, I tell you.) So then I decided that when I die, I'm going to ask very nicely if it would be okay if I could see what my life would have turned out like had I not made some dumb decisions. Let's pretend that maybe I didn't listen to the naysayers and I went to medical school - yeah, maybe I'd have failed or dropped out halfway through the first semester, but at least I'd have tried. At least I'd know, "yep, definitely DO NOT want to be a doctor. Maybe I'll try horticulture." Or let's pretend that I served a mission before I got married - where would I have gone? And how cool would I have been? Or, hey, what if I had practiced the piano when I was 8? Would I be a virtuoso by now instead of just barely squeaking through the hymnbook?

What would my life be like had I not wasted 6 years of my life obsessing over LOST? (Just kidding - I gave up obsessing after season 2.) Or what if I had discovered Star Wars earlier? (Small miracles - if that had happened, I'd be an Unspeakable Dork.) Or what if I ... ?

Moral of this story: I really, really, really, really want a time machine. TARDIS optional. Also, I need to quit wasting time on the Internet, especially the "creative" Internet. Because when I turn 50... if I turn 50...I don't want to add "what if I had turned off the computer/Netflix for a while and actually learned/did something?"

I wonder, if I turn 50, will I still be blogging at 3 in the morning? Or do you think I will be able to sleep by then? Maybe that's something I could add to my list of Things To Go Back And Change.


I have just discovered a sort of time machine. It's called, The Internet. And Blogging. And basically I just re-discovered this video, which may have had me in hysterical laughter, and it is awesome. And the laughter may or may not be due to the fact that it's nearly 4 a.m. and I am still not asleep.

2 year old Sparrow with laryngitis recites "The Three Little Pigs."

1 comments to Where's a good Doctor when you need one?:

Allison said...

Your post reminds me of a line in "Prince Caspian" from "The Chronicles of Narnia":

"To know what would have happened, child?" said Aslan. "No. Nobody is ever told that. [...] But anyone can find out what will happen. [...] What will happen? There is only one way of finding out."