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"Pure" by Julianna Baggott review

15 January 2012
Pure (Pure, #1)Pure by Julianna Baggott
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I suffered through every single word of this book. Normally I'd have put it down, I hated it so much. But I felt it was my duty to read this crap so YOU don't have to. I have tried to spare you the pain of this novel. Heed my warnings, reader. Stay away. Just. Stay. Away.

This is quite possibly the absolute worst book I have ever read. I've said that before, but I'm confident that this one takes the cake. Now when people ask what the worst book ever is, I have a confident quick answer for them. Instead of reading this, go watch Total Recall 2070. It's a lot shorter and a better movie than this book was - and that is saying something.

Here are some actual thoughts as I was reading this trash:

What the hell is this?! This book is terrible so far. I'm on page 200 and I am fighting to stay in the game. You know what this novel reminds me of? That horrible Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, Total Recall 2070, where he goes to Mars and there are all these creepy mutants.

This book is trying WAY too hard to be dark, gritty and awesome all at the same time. So far all it's succeeding in doing is being dark, disgusting, and stupid. Also confusing - too many characters, too many different viewpoints being introduced at completely random times.

Oh, how CONVENIENT that Bradwell knows Japanese, and that "phoenix," of all words, is the "first word he ever looked up." Come on. Gag me. There were lots of moments of "convenience" throughout the entire novel.

Okay. Now back to regularly scheduled review. There is absolutely nothing redeeming in this stinking pile of sewage. I found several instances where Pressia magically become Lyda (as in, huge typos throughout the novel.) I hope they fix this before the book is published, but it won't really make a huge difference, because the characters all blend together - there is no way to distinguish them from any other character except for the mentions of their mutations. Which, by the way, let's talk about that for a minute.

Talk about how I was BEATEN OVER THE HEAD CONSTANTLY by the mutations, and this was melted, and this was fused to this, and she has no face it's just metal! And her hand! It's a mirror! And oh my gravy is that a baby in your chest?

Constant. That was possibly the most irritating thing about this book, besides the fact that the plot is stupid and the characters make no sense and it's all very contrived and heavy handed. Every new person, place, or thing they encountered had a huge description about the horror of it being fused to whatever.

The thing is, I like dystopian novels where I can actually see that thing happening. I love post-apocalyptic survival type books because I can PUT myself in those situations. In this situation? All I could think of was being fused to my laptop and having to read this horrible novel over and over again. That would be a fate worse than death and if I go to Hell, I realize now that this is probably required reading in Hell 101.

The whole scenes with the characters and the "Mothers" was disgusting and completely and totally unnecessary. And this is going to become a trilogy? Dear Lord, have our brains devolved so much in the last 10 years that we are willing to waste our time on this drivel?

I am so utterly astounded by the idiocy of this novel. I don't understand why it's so looked forward to, why it's even being published in the first place. I'd like to go on for 368 pages about how disgusting, idiotic, pointless and STUPID the whole thing is. What a waste of my life this was.

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1 comments to "Pure" by Julianna Baggott review:

K La said...

you said you hoped they fixed the name issue before the book is published; how did you read it before it was published?